If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela
In my experience as a Homeopath, and that of many others I know, the majority of patients are female. Why is this so? I have lost count of the number of women I have treated that have said something to me along the lines of, “I wish my husband would come here”. It is also the experience of many Homeopaths that when a man does come to be treated, profound healing can happen.
Many men are not comfortable acknowledging problems and seeking help. There are a number of reasons for this, but perhaps the one that stands out from the rest is societal pressure that promotes a false perspective of what a real man is. Being vulnerable, showing emotion and not coping are typical examples of factors often discouraged by society in its portrayal of what constitutes a man. Sadly, these false stereotypes then get passed on from men to boys. One of the main consequences is that men suffer in silence.
As a male Homeopath, I have found treating men to be a truly sacred experience. Many of these patients have never before fully opened up to another about their problems, and certainly not to another man.
My approach in my practice is two-fold: to treat Homeopathically, and to help the person understand who they are more fully. In regards to the latter, I assist that person to grow in consciousness and self-awareness in any way I can. Recommending self development or spiritual books, or suggesting they try meditating regularly are examples of approaches I will use when suitable to that individual. Perhaps the tool I use most often though to promote self-awareness is to teach the patient about the picture of the remedy they are taking; particularly if it is their core constitutional remedy.
Many men I have treated are open to, and benefit from, growing in self-awareness. They then realize that there are many other men around who have similar struggles and respond according to their constitutional make-up.
You can’t have a fire without the ash. We all know that out of the ash arises the phoenix. Being a whole man necessarily means embracing one’s wound, learning from it and then transcending it. The Homeopathic approach to treatment encourages such transcendence in men because those who have their vital force brought into balance experience a shift on all planes; spiritual, mental, emotional, physical and social.
As Homeopaths we are fully equipped to assist men to experience inner healing within a safe, respectful and powerful context. We have the medicines, listening skills and knowledge to walk this journey with our patients.
Reflecting on the many men I have treated, the thing they nearly all had in common when they first came to me, was the inner belief that they have to carry their ‘ash’ on their own as part of their curriculum vitae as a man. The murder of their child, the death of a parent, neglect from parents, sexual abuse, abandonment by a life or business partner, retrenchment from work and separation from their children, are all examples of life traumas male patients have experienced, who have sought treatment in my clinic. They believed that their ‘job’ was to be a support for others, the ‘strong one’, and to deal with whatever the issue was and move on.
It is darkest before the dawn…what a transformation occurs in these men when their impaired vital forces are renewed.
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Martin Costigan is a Classical Homeopath based in Deception Bay, Brisbane. His website is www.livingwater.net.au
Martin has just published world-wide his book titled Whole Man: Unleashing the Potential of the Modern Man.